Everyone in VIP, no, in 2ch, please hear me out.
The other day, I was totally mistaken for a molester.
And I don't mean it as a joke, I was actually mistaken for one in the blink of an eye.
It all started with this...
Previous thread:
I got totally mistaken for a molester part 11 (13)
http://ex7.2ch.net/test/read.cgi/news4vip/1100601254/l50
Templates omitted.
http://tikanotoko.nobody.jp/index.html
↑ Go here for a summary of the threads.
∩＿∩ +
（0ﾟ・(ｪ)・） ba-dump ba-dump bear bear
（0ﾟつ旦O +
と＿_）__） +
GJ.
If this is 1000, Kansai is actually my little sister.
996 Name:VIPPER Date:04/11/20 19:18:13 ID:HyzvwSE1
If this is 1000, there'll be seicross.
997 Name:VIPPER Date:04/11/20 19:18:14 ID:7HLDwK+B
If this is the 1000 GET, things will take a happy turn.
998 Name:VIPPER Date:04/11/20 19:18:19 ID:j5oMePxp
If this is 1000, OP gets married with Kansai.
999 Name:VIPPER Date:04/11/20 19:18:25 ID:T/0TjAEE
If this is 1000, Molester, Miss Understanding and Kansai will have a threesome.
1000 Name:VIPPER Date:04/11/20 19:18:25 ID:NKc5k85Q
1002
Better prepare something they can kill some time with.
It's at times like these that
that kind of paranoid thinking can totally (*^ーﾟ)b pay off!!
Crab shortbread.
Do not be overconfident. Prepare yourself for everything.
Always keep in mind that a butterfly flapping its wings in Asia can cause a hurricane in Europe.
I wanna see what Kansai replied to your weird pork e-mail.
If they do decide to come up because it's cold out, you should at least be able to ask them
"I'll get you something warm to drink. Black tea or coffee?".
It's common sense.
And I just now realized that it was a toilet air freshener I used. I need to get rid of this smell.
ヾ( ﾟдﾟ)ﾉﾞ Dumbass!
and now I'm late to this party. orz
Cracked me up so hard.
!?
I need to get dressed up!
I have some expensive green tea. I love green tea.
And fuck, it's so cold with the windows open!!!
Should I spray some 8x4 instead to get rid of the toilet air freshener smell?
That stinks━━━━━(｀Д´)━━━━━!!!
Don't you have any perfume?
Spray a little on your bed and pillows.
(ﾉ∀`) Oh boy.
You're such an idiotw
Don't. You'll just end up creating a horrible smelling gas you won't be able to get rid of.
Help, I'm panicking!!!!
→ The two smells blend together into a horrible stench
It's so cold with the windows open, guys. So cold.
I know it's cold but you'll have to deal with it.
Don't worry, two young ladies will arrive soon and warm up your room with their presence.
>>26
Expensive green tea is perfect. GJ on that.
Don't do it. You're gonna set your room on fire.
Nah, I'm not going to say it. Molester would never do something like that.
I'm pretty sure I'm panicking more than you.
Dammit, I'd like to rub one out quickly to calm myself, but they could be here anytime now.
I wish I could take a huge dump in front of Molester's door.
What did I tell you...
Why else would we live in this shithole?w
Dumbass━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━━!!!!!
Don't close the windows until they arrive!
Well, if I was OP...... I'd do it!
Well, I can totally see him do it.
Don't even joke about it!
Make sure to ventilate sufficiently!!
Girls are more sensitive to smell!
Don't. That's the last thing you should be doing if you don't know when they'll arrive.
You'd be surprised how sensitive women are when it comes to certain smells.
My wife, for instance, said she always knows when I've jacked off at work.
Is your wife a monster!?
Your post has opened my eyes!
I'd do it too!! Now, the only question is in which order.
Don't jack off at work!w
Get in here if you want to chat with teenage girls.
Especially the girl with the username "w", who often shows up in Yoshinoya and is on right now, is quite the looker. Ask her and she'll show you pics of herself.
Or play pranks on the parasite freelance part-timer called "Zushio" if you prefer that. Come on, let's have fun together.
(*ノノ) How embarrassing.
I've cleaned up the room, hidden all the visible otaku stuff, ventilated.
Anything else?
Do it.
One time in school, I'd just finished fapping in my classroom when my homeroom teacher came in.
Are you saying she knew...!?
Here's my order:
First Kansai, then Miss Undie, and then Kansai again for good measure.
Set up a camera in the toilet, of course.
Install a camera in the toilet.
Clean the floor!
Get rid of all the pubic hair scattered everywhere!!
Umm, umm......
Did you vacuum your room?
I already vacuumed my room!
I have bed hair, but no time to fix it!!
Ah, I need to put in my contacts!!
Prepare some good music CD's.
How about no?
That's what you do after taking a shit.
Put a porn mag somewhere inconspicuous for some "sex appeal".
Please elaborate on this part.
I do now thanks to this thread.
_ ∩
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)彡 Tits! Tits!
⊂彡
Spray some breath freshener into your mouth.
>>66
>>66
>>66
>>66
>>66
>>66
>>66
You wear contacts!?
Even so, you should just keep the glasses on.
Show them what you look like when you're just chilling in your room.
You're a woman, aren't you!!!??
Please give our Molester some advice!!
>I didn't know men could be so cute.
>I didn't know men could be so desperate.
FTFY
Granny knows best!!
- prepare CD's
- buy condoms
- post e-mails
Look, I can't go out with glasses on!!
I even shudder at the thought of riding a bicycle with glasses on.
Ahh, they're still not here... I should have masturbated while I still had the chance.
If you're a woman, please help OP by giving him advice from the point of a view a woman.
ttp://www.st-c.co.jp/products/houkou/index_new13.html
This works pretty well. Go get one.
I think you should make your entranceway nice and tidy.
Line up your shoes neatly etc.
Molester has other things to worry about right now.
What we need to do right now is check one more time if OP's room is really ready for their visit.
We need to work together to find anything we've missed.
And put all your CD-R's and computer accessories in a closet.
Trust me, you can't go wrong with it!!
Make sure it's squeaky clean.
They say women always know.
their visit is causing a huge shitstorm on VIPw
I assume you wiped all the dust off your TV and PC monitor?
I have a pack I bought from an Asian store,
but when I light it, it fills the whole room with smoke it's insane!!
But meh, they probably won't.
They will see your snakes though. I'm worried about Miss Understanding. Is she scared of snakes?
I'm sure Kansai will be fine though.
I hope every nook and cranny of your room is clean now.
I do now thanks to this thread.
It's advice from a woman. Better follow it.
Don't fuck it up, Molester.
That would be bad. Really bad.
Hide your 2ch browser, OP!
You don't want them to find this thread, man...
Actually, that would be the best thing ever.
I need to calm downw
I won't be able to hide my bookshelves either. All I can do is pray that they don't notice my Dengeki Comics volumes...
But I did pick up the magazines scattered all over my floor and piled them up in a corner of my room.
The Jump pile almost comes up to my chest.
Doesn't matter, burn some incense till Kansai comes.
Women love the smell of freshly burnt incense.
This is definitely not the fancy kind of incense you're talking about... But oh well, the windows are open anyway.
Let's light up some incense.
Sorry, but that made me crack up. (＞з＜)＝з Pfff
A huge pile of Jump mags looks creepy and dirty thoughw
Better put them away in a closet.
Why would you keep all those Jump mags? (ﾉ∀`) Oh boy.
Okay, when they've left, you have to dispose of all unnecesary otaku goods in your room.
Add that to your list of things to do.
The VIPPERs can help you decide which ones to keep and which ones to throw away.
Incenses are all about the pleasant lingering smell they leave.
They're not so pleasant while they're burning because of all the smoke.
So yeah, you can put out the incense now.
No, just keep cleaning!!
Don't let them see anything lewd no matter what it takes!!
I don't see any other way.
Oh, and boil some water on the stove so your room doesn't get too dry.
http://www.dengekiya.com/
Ohohoho You should hide them.
Me too, me too!
Guess I will too then.
Especially the sink area.
Don't forget that Kansai's visit is basically a preliminary inspection for a possible sleepover one day!
Though I doubt that day will ever come...
Can't you hide the Jump pile somewhere outside your room?
Like somewhere in the back?
/ ＿ノ ,＿ノ ヽ
/ / iﾆ)ヽ, /rj:ヽヽ ヽ
.| ;〈 !::●:c! ' {.:●:;､! 〉 | U
| (つ`''" ＿＿ `'ｰ''(つ | w
| ///// | | /// | a a
ヽ γ´~⌒ヽ. / | / A a
ヽ / ヽ / | /⌒ヽ a A
＼/ | |￣￣￣￣| ／ ヽ H h
/ | ／
Why do you have something like that!?
I won't!!!!!
WELL, AREN'T YOU GUYS HAVING A BLASTw
They won't see your Dengeki volumes either...
Or well, maybe everyone sees my porn mags and just pretend they don't.
Or e-mail Kansai and tell her to buy some for you on the way.
Say it isn't so!!
In fact, you should leave them out in view.
I lol'd.
Helter skelter helter skelter.
Don't you have any free space in the back of your room?
Give us your address.
Brush your teeth!
Go to bed as soon as you're done with homework!!
and Kansai happened to open that closet.
Then outside!
Somewhere outside of your room!
Let's run away.
The initially serious advice posts are starting to make way for jokes posts.
but you should change into some decent clothes.
Which is more important for you, Kansai or that Dengeki stuff!?
Prepare some nice indirect lighting.
Keep them open until the bell rings.
〉‐r '´ `丶
/:::ヽ ヽ
. ,':::::::::::ヽ. '､
. l:::::::::::::::/ .,､z:ｭ､,_. ,､=,
l;:::::::::::/ ´ ,r'ャ､`' i'rｬ;|
l ヽ::::::::ｌ ''｀¨¨´ ヽ |
ヽ ヽ::::::! ,ィ _. ', .l
ヽ_λ:i. ' `'ﾞ`'‐'iﾞ ,'
l ヽ`'. ,∠.ニﾌ /
l ` ､ ､ い.... ,' / It's here!
,r<ヽ、 ヽ', .ヽ`二ﾌ.,'
,.ｲ ＼.丶､｀' .､,＿｀,.ィヽ、
. ／ .', ＼ 丶、 l. ', ヽ'.-､
,. -.'´ ＼ ＼ ＼ ! .ｌ ', `‐ ､
But well, even if you don't, I guess it's too late to go buy some...
You said there's a convenience store within walking distance, right?
Think you can go buy some before they arrive?
That'd just fill his room with stale vacuum smell.
Man, Molester's room must reek of all kinds of stuff noww
You don't want to do it while they're in your room. They'll be able to hear every drop.
Do I embrace the uncertain future, while discarding a vital part of my 20-year-long life,
or do I discard the potential future, and embrace my current self...
It's a tough decision.
Take a shit in the middle of your room so you can light a match afterwards to kill all the smell!
What's tough about that?
If you want a better future, you have to create it for yourself!
Stop clinging to your past.
Grasp your future now!
Throw those volumes out the window!
Live in the present!
Live in the now!!!!
Miss Undie: "It stinks!"
Kansai: "We'll come another time..."
Miss Undie: "I hate smelly guys!!"
Since you probably won't have any time to post something when they're there,
you should type it out now so that all you have to do is hit submit when the bell rings!
Pick the distant future!
You embrace your current self → Have shadow seicross until you die
You embrace the potential future → Have the threesome of your dreams
Now, which do you pick?
Tell them someone important to you died or something.
>>191
>>191
>>191
>>191
>>191
>>191
>>191
That's brilliant.
Heck, just pull the power on it.
God is probably the only being who can fully embrace himself. We humans don't have a choice but to march ahead into the uncertain future.
That's it! l^l^l^l９`Д´) point
Put on some porn on your PC while you wait for them.
Prepare your reaction AA's, guys.
So, what happened to posting the e-mails?
Your timing is impeccable. I was just about to post them.
Kansai: "Sorry it took me so long to reply!
So you bought Aussie beef on sale, huh?w"
Me: "It wasn't Aussie beef! It was pork shoulder chops!!"
Kansai: "Oh, you were awake?w Don't you have to work today?"
Me: "My shift starts at 10 pm tonight."
She called.
Kansai: "Miss Understanding and I are on our way home and thought we'd drop by."
Me: "Huh? Eh?"
Kansai: "Weren't we going to go shopping for self-defense products? Wouldn't it be better to go as soon as possible?"
Me: "Yeah, sure, but now?"
Kansai: "Sorry, my cell phone is dying! Gotta hang up!"
Where will you go for the self-defense products though?
ARE THEY GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT AT YOUR PLACE?
Molester, when will you be back after work?
I can't miss this party.
(・∀・)ノ
Kansai is always so bossyw
And Miss Undie won't have anything to worry about because Kansai is with her.
Whoawwwwwwww She sounds like she really wants to gowwwwwwwww
Looks like we're having a party tomorrow too.
I said it's not decided that we'll go shopping tomorrow yet.
I was wondering about that too.
Don't do it. They'll know you did.
More importantly, is it alright to be so relaxed? Will you be able to post that they're there when they arrive?
I know it's like a second home to you, Molester,
but it seems to be uncharted waters for Kansai and Miss Understanding.
The two girls arrive when Molester is masturbating because he ran out of patience!!
Flustered, Molester greets them with his lower half exposed → Molester gets arrested. I want this to happen.
Don't worry, I've already prepared a post for when they arrive!!
You know, I'm always like this.
I can never make up my mind... And then I always go
"Ahh, I would have already finished by now if I hadn't hesitated..."
"Ah, I would have been long finished if I hadn't hesitated the second time..."
"And I'm still waiting! Fuck this! I'm just gonna do it!!"
And then it's usually too late.
Masturbate.
There's still enough time.
It's not good to hold it in, you know?
Make sure to change your wallpaper, OP.
Target subject: Molester Man
Measurement date: 2004/11/20
Love Friend Acquaintance Creep Call the police
├──────┼──────┼──────┼──────┤
∩＿＿＿∩ /)
| ノ ヽ ( i )))
/ ● ● | / /
| ( _●_) |ﾉ / Here right now bear
彡､ |∪| ,/
／ ヽノ /´
Here's how this post shows up in the mouseover post preview of a 2ch browser:
Kansai meter:
Target subject: Molester Man
Measurement date: 2004/11/20
Love Friend Acquaintance Creep Call the police
├──────┼──────┼──────┼──────┤
∩＿＿＿∩ /)
| ノ ヽ ( i )))
/ ● ● | / /
| ( _●_) |ﾉ / Here right now bear
彡､ |∪| ,/
／ ヽノ /´
Test.
He said earlier that his wallpaper is always normal.
I bet they really just want to check out your snakes...
Go read the previous thread.
Oh, okay. I'm so flustered right now...
I'm serious, my fingers are shaking a little while I'm typing this...
No, they want to check out his room
to learn more about Molester as a person.
Damn, I'm so panicking right now.
Calm down.
Calm down and watch Fuji TV.
○ ○ ＜ Don't push me! I swear to God, don't push me!
|こ ／ |
>ヽ |⌒ |＿＿＿＿|
∧＿∧ HURRRLL
〃,（||i´┌｀）
/ ,つ ｨ;,ﾟ;:δﾟ,,. splurt
⊂こ＿）_）',;:ﾟ｡ｏ;:,..,ﾟ.,｡
,,;:;;。.:;;ﾟ'｡ｏ.,
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
http://red.jpg-gif.net/bbsx/12/img/130986.jpg
http://onna-yonde-monde-daite-iikimochi.com/photo/oppai/data/chinami.jpg
http://imgbbs1.artemisweb.jp/upup/img-box/img20041120191429.jpg
ting ☆⌒ 凵＼(＼･∀･) What's taking you guys so long?
You naughty boy!!!
GJ!
What's wrong?
ttp://up.nm78.com/data/up028525.jpg
ttp://up.nm78.com/data/up028524.jpg
Use this.
ttp://www99.sakura.ne.jp/~kouchakaden/proglam/cg/vcg/cg/123.jpg
The second girl. She looks just like a friend of mine... shake shake
I CAME HERE BECAUSE I SAW THE NAME LOLI JUGS BUT SHE'S NEITHER A LOLI NOR DOES SHE HAVE JUGS!
SHE'S FAT DOESN'T HAVE A WAIST AND HAS THE BODY OF AN INFANT SO RENAME HER TO CHUBBY GRANNY!
OH AND MISS UNDERSTANDING PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!
Guys, if we're lucky, Kansai and Miss Undie might actually come to this thread later!
Nah, that's rather unlikely......
I'm so nervous.
I want this to happen.
You rubbed one out, didn't you?
Are you stupid?w
So smelly.
So much failwwwwwww
Dude, you're beyond saving, you know that?w
What is wrong with you...... ＿|￣|○
What the fuck?
Oh boy, did you really rub one out!?
You stupid idiot!
Go wash that stinking penis of yours!
Excite Translator http://www.excite.co.jp/world/chinese/
┌──────────────┐
│一次予選敗退 . │ ＿＿＿＿＿＿
│ │｜CHN → JP｜
│ │ ￣￣￣￣￣￣
│ │ Simplified Chinese
│ │
│ │ [Translate] ← Let's try it out!
└──────────────┘
└──Original text──┘
Alright, time to open the windows again.
What did you fap to?
Flushed it down the toilet so it can become part of our drinking water one day.
In about three months, yeah.
You're quite the brave man, OPw
Or are they coming to your place for a different reason?
WILL ONE OF YOU AKIBA OTAKU EXPLAIN IT TO ME?
Apologize to everyone in this thread!!
_, ,_ smack
（ ‘д‘）
⊂彡☆))Д´) ≡┌○-○
But at this hour......
Good question! m9(`Д´) point
What if they reported you to the police because your e-mails are too stalkerish?
No, no.
When she said "Wouldn't it be better to go as soon as possible?",
she meant "Wouldn't it be better to buy the self-defense products as soon as possible?".
And that means tomorrow.
so obviously they don't mean going shopping tonight.
They probably want to talk to him about when and where to go.
Well, I bet it's just an excuse though.
TELL ME WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT THIS THREAD!
Your desperation.
I was told to come out because they're in front of my apartment.
Wish me luck, guys.
Your loliness.
>>256 First, you tell me what's funny about your post.
Goddammit, what's taking them so looooong!?
The thread is falling apartwwwww
Your posts.
They know OP's shift is starting soon...
What are they plotting...
Good luck!
They're here They're here They're here━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!!
_,. -'' "￣~ﾞ三=-_､_ ,.-'"
,,.-''" r _､ 三三ヽ."
／ i {ぃ}} _ﾆﾆ三ﾞ､
/,.､ `--" 二三三； _,,. -'''"
ｌ {ゞ} i _ﾆ三三| _,..-'''"
.l `" i_,,...-''| ニ三三!''"
_,.-! ! i -ﾆ三三/
l´,.- l ＼/ -ﾆ三三／
_. ! ｒi l＼ __--三三三='"
j'‘´j `´ | ! ` ミ三三三三三＝''"
i',.. '´} | |
l,.. r´ '´ >>306
Godspeed!
They're here━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━━!!!!!
They told you to come out?w
Sounds like they're not planning on coming up.
But Molester worked so hard... つД｀)･ﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ
>>307 → >>306
┏┓★ ┏━━┓＊ ＋ ┏━━┳┳┓
┏━┛┗━┓┃┏┓┃┏━━━┓┃┏┓┣┻┛ o
┗━┓┏━┛┃┗┛┃┗━━━┛┃┗┛┃ ﾟ ★
┏━┛┗━┓┃┏┓┃ . ┃┏┓┃┏━━┓
┗━┓┏━┛┗┛┃┃ * + ┗┛┃┃┗┳ ┃
+ .┃┃ ┏┛┃┏━━━━┓┏┛┃*. ┃┏┛
┗┛..｡ ﾟ +┗━┛┗━━━━┛┗━┛ .*┗┛
ﾟ ☆ .
_,,,,--＝'' ＿＿＿,,-―――＝''￣ ＿_,-―＝''￣ / +
＿,,-＝'' ＿,,-―＝''￣ ヽ.. ／ . . . .
￣ ,,-＝''￣ ＼ ／ . 。. ★ ☆
,,,.―'' ＼ . ／ ヽ／ 。. .
／ ...,,,__ （ ヽ |＿＿_/ ／( ヽ, . *
丶 ,,,,,, ) ） | / ) ） ,,,,,／ ☆ +
ヽ γ´~⌒ヽ（ (. | / （ ( ／. . ☆
＼/ | ) ）. |_/ ) ）/⌒ヽ +★ *
Even if it doesn't make a difference this time, it will later on.
Wait, does OP live in a cheap old apartment? I thought he lived in one of those modern multi-storey apartment buildings...
Make sure to clean up properly until next time.
Well, he's just a poor student living off his parents' allowance and his part-time salary.
They can smell a strange mixture of sweet olive air freshener, 8x4 deodorant, and sperm from outside the windowsw
The deciding factor is whether OP knows something about self-defense products or not.
Can he convince them that it's worth taking him along?
This is my cue to go buy dinner and booze from the convenience store.
So that's why they're afraid to come inside.
Uh-oh...!
You're so talkative todayw
I'm glad because you usually only post the bear AA.
They could blackmail the shit out of himw
I wonder if they're only going to stay till 9 pm.
WHAT'S SO INTERESTING ABOUT IT?
Not as much as youw
Does that mean Loli and Yamaoka are lurking in this thread!?
WHAT'S SO INTERESTING ABOUT THIS THREAD?
There's no need to try to understand something you can't understand.
Think they're (ID:HkIeRwVx)?w >>344
Guess nothing's going to go down tonight after all.
>>256
>OH AND MISS UNDERSTANDING PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!
You're one to talkwwwwwwwwwwwww
Nah, I must be imagining things.
The outcome of this match depends on it.
>OH AND MISS UNDERSTANDING PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!
>OH AND MISS UNDERSTANDING PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!
>OH AND MISS UNDERSTANDING PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!
>OH AND MISS UNDERSTANDING PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!
Pfff.
"Doesn't your shift start at 10 pm? You should go."
"And what about you two?"
"Hm? We'll wait for you to come back in your room, obviously."
"Wait, what?! No way!!"
"Why not～? Come on, it's cold out here."
"That's right, Mr. Molester. Please let us wait for you in your roomw"
"............yeah... alright..."
"Okay!!!!"
Would be the best thing ever!
SO WHAT EXACTLY IS FUN ABOUT THIS THREAD?
We need something to kill time with until Molester comes back.
No way that will happen.
But I do wish they'd go up to his room even for a little bit.
I want to see how they react to Molester's otaku goodies.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this!
Seeing how you like to stick out like a sore thumb, I bet you got bullied in school.
WHAT'S SO FUN ABOUT THIS THREAD?
Me: "Huh? Eh?"
Kansai: "Weren't we going to go shopping for self-defense products? Wouldn't it be better to go as soon as possible?"
Me: "Yeah, sure, but now?"
Kansai: "Sorry, my cell phone is dying! Gotta hang up!"
Yeah, I know there's no way it'll happenw
But that's what our imagination is for, right?
Japanese language so hard.
Is that all you can say? Are you crying?
ID:HkIeRwVx
HkIeRwVx is already crying.
But he's a masochist and is getting hard from all this hate he's getting. What a sad kid.
I figured they might want to go up to his room if he greeted them carrying one of his snakes on his arms,
but I can't for the life of me imagine how that would look like.
WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH A BIG FUSS ABOUT THIS GUY? PLEASE EXPLAIN BECAUSE I CAN'T READ THE MOOD.
You're cute, trying to start shit on VIP of all places.
Where'd you come from?
Don't think, feel.
Google it.
It's not the mood you can't read, it's Japanese.
Tell us your specs first and then we'll talk.
You can't go around asking people every time you don't understand something and expect them to spoon-feed you an answer, brat!! Drop dead! No, better yet, kill yourself!
_, ,_ smack
（ ‘д‘） ⌒ヽﾌ
⊂彡☆))ω´）WHEE =З
He's not a troll. He's a cute little girl.
Okay, let me give you one serious reply then.
We're making a big fuss about Molester because he's full of VIP QUALITY.
An i386 running at 70Mhz, I bet.
In b4 he asks about VIP QUALITY next.
That's a clever way to use "in b4"w
BYSTANDERS: "DON'T DO ITW"
MOLESTER MAN: "I'VE DONE IT ANYWAY!"
BYSTANDERS: "YOU REEK OF SPERM!"
SO WHAT EXACTLY IS FUNNY ABOUT THIS?W
You're the one that's not funny.
"You guys are so lame and weird. Instead of wasting my time here, I'm better off calling my girlfriend or something."
"Pfffwwwwwwwwwww Trolledwwwwwwwwwwwww"
Go ahead, pick the one you like, HkIeRwVx.
Why don't you turn off caps lock first?
What exactly is funny about your post >>256?
HOT DAMN.
I GUESS THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL OTAKU POWERW
Forget about the mood, it looks like he can't even read Japanese.
Well, for one thing, it's funny how all your w's have turned into W's too.
No, more like
"WHAT THE HELL IS VIP QUALITY SUPPOSED TO BE? ARE YOU OTAKU CREEPS RETARDED TOO?WWWWWWWWWWWWW"
"YOU GUYS ARE SO LAME AND WEIRD! INSTEAD OF WASTING MY TIME HERE I'M BETTER OFF CALLING MY GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING!"
"WHOAWWWWWWWWWWW TROLLEDWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
FTFY
Come on, tell us what exactly is funny about >>256 firstw
>I CAME HERE BECAUSE I SAW THE NAME LOLI JUGS BUT SHE'S NEITHER A LOLI NOR DOES SHE HAVE JUGS!
LOL!
>SHE'S FAT DOESN'T HAVE A WAIST AND HAS THE BODY OF AN INFANT SO RENAME HER TO CHUBBY GRANNY!
I couldn't agree moreww
>OH AND MISS UNDERSTANDING PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!
Fucking LOL.
As soon as Molester is back,
everyone will go back to ignoring ID:HkIeRwVx.
――――――――――――――――――――――――――
You will answer my question just like we answered yours, won't you?
Don't worry, you have a power that is much more useless.
BUT WHAT IS FUN ABOUT THIS THREAD?
PLEASE SOMEONE EXPLAIN!
A pity it's already over.
Is it fun? Are you having fun?
Well, we could keep him around as a side dish.
Then, please explain what isn't fun about this thread!
I'm genuinely curious. Please explain.
Congrats, your posts are all over this thread! You win!
You're so cute, taking on a whole thread in VIP.
I can't be arsed to scroll up. Could you add an anchor to the post?
You do know what an anchor is, right?
With your power, you couldn't even beat an ant, much less a VIPPER. （ ´,_ゝ`）
MY SIDESW
He's a real cutie pie, didn't you guys know?wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Unfortunately, HkIeRwVx has strong BO...
That's why he ended up grumpy like this.
But his looks and figure are amazing. You guys are no match for himwwwwwwwwwwww
LOOK HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THIS THREAD HE BAITED TO REPLY TO HIM!
We VIPPERs really snap at every bait we seew
Brace for an extremely powerful counterattack anytime soon.
Because we don't have shit else to do right now.
I snapped at the bait, but it doesn't seem to be attached to a hook. Please help.
Heey, let's play some morew
Snap at every fishing line you see without any hesitation!
THAT IS VI-
FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T GET WHY THIS THREAD EVEN EXISTS!
I DON'T GET THE STORY EITHER!
I DON'T GET WHAT'S SO FUN ABOUT READING ABOUT SOME STRANGER DOING ORDINARY STUFF!
AND I DON'T GET WHY MOLESTER MAN GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO REPORT EVERYTHING IN THIS THREAD!
Why did you submit that post if you knew that it's lame?
What were you thinking when you wrote >>256?
What the hell must have been going through your head to produce a post like >>256? What did you expect to achieve with that post?
My philosophy is that there's no such thing as a bait on VIP.
So you do know what this thread is about.
You must have read a lot of itw
And I don't get why you report your opinions here when no one cares.
Go read the summary site.
First of all, I don't get why he even exists!
I don't get what he's talking about either!
I don't get what's so fun about talking shit about a stranger and the girls he's after!
And I don't get why HkIeRwVx goes out of his way to report his opinions in this thread!
That's because you're still a kid.
You still have a lot to learn, kiddo♥
What I don't get is why you even exist.
ID:HkIeRwVx is really you-know-what.
It's past bedtime for kids.
Okay, I'll be the one to give you a serious reply this time.
First of all, have you read all the previous threads? If not, go read them on the summary site in >>1.
Then we can talk.
Yep, yep～, I agree with every word of your post.
I only read up to "WHAT ISN'T FUN ABOUT" though.
I guess you're going through a phase when you think
you can become a special snowflake by acting contrarian,
but it's just fucking annoying to everyone else. Plus, you don't seem very bright either.
SO WHAT EXACTLY IS FUN ABOUT THIS THREAD?W
the first letter of each post makes up a huge secret message?
I won't check because it's too much work thoughw
Lol. What happened to joining HkIeRwVx's side?w
Besides, if you don't even get the story,
why would you assume that OP only reports "ordinary stuff"?
>>462
I don't even feel like taking the bait if it's this obvious.
Guaranteed replies.
This almost gave me a boner.
Why do you always take so long to reply?w
I've made three more posts since the one you're replying tow
OH SHIT!
Obvious bait is obvious.
You're actually a genius with an IQ of 2300, aren't you?
A crab wearing glasses.
What Exactly Boy.
Meganesh.
HkIeRwVx is the one who'll come to your place tomorrow with a bottle of booze.
Crap, I forgotw
But it looks like he's completely switched to troll mode in >>462.
Try a little harder, HkIeRwVx!
Hidden Potential Boy
Spoon Fed Boy
AND I'LL STAY MAD UNTIL YOU INTRODUCE ME TO MISS UNDERSTANDING!
Think they went to his workplace together?
I'll pretend I didn't see that.
You have to keep us busy for one more hour.
Xiao-lee!?
I've made it back in one piece from a battle in the entranceway that was even tougher than the ones I had with newspaper salesmen. Can I get some cheers?
Go out and try stalking a woman walking down the street.
There's a 0.2% chance she'll mistake you for a molester.
He...（-_-）He（_- ）He!（- ）He's!（ ）He's back（ ﾟ）He's back!（ ﾟ∀）He's back!!（ﾟ∀ﾟ）He's back━━!!
Here's your lol.
ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW?
Please elaborate. Don't tell me you didn't invite them into your room.
I'll pretend I didn't see >>487 either,
so let's play some more.
WHY A BATTLE?W
WHICH PART OF THIS THREAD IS FUNNY?
Wha?
It's a lot like the awkward moment when an unintentionally funny guy intentionally tries to be funny and fails.
Please elabearate.
You're GOD if Kansai is lying next to you right now.
There you go betraying him againw
You said you'd join his side.
You can laugh at my incompetence, get annoyed by my meaningless blog posts,
and choose to either simply enjoy, wholeheartedly believe, or fiercely question the sudden plot twists (even I find them unbelievable), the uncomfortably realistic aspects of the story, and everything else.
I believe that's the entertainment value of this thread.
As for me, I'm a Japanese guy who can't get shit done by myself, so it doesn't matter to me if you believe my story or not,
I just want advice from someone. And that's what this thread is there for.
Kill yourself.
This post made me fall in love with OP.
Who cares about HkIeRwVx? I want a detailed report!
Dude, you've grown so much...
I lol'd at OP explaining the entertainment value of his own thread.
Ignore him.
The poor guy doesn't know what he's doing, so let's just leave him alone.
That's not the post everyone was waiting for, OP.
Good call. Now that OP is back, I'm going to hide his posts.
And then I'm going back to lurking.
What exactly is funny about Molester Man?
It wouldn't take this long if they were just talking, right?
Something else must have happened.
OP goes out → The girls get totally kidnapped right in front of his eyes → Following the kidnappers' trail, he infiltrates their hideout → He loses to the mini boss → He loses again → He becomes aware of his physical limits → God grants him more power (He's here right now)
Slowpoke.
Lol.
the anime song ringtone of my cell phone started playing.
I answered the call.
"Hey, we're in front of your apartment."
"Okay, I'll be there in a sec."
I posted "I'm off" in the thread three times faster than normal,
gave myself a quick check in the mirror, and ran out.
Outside were Miss Understanding holding a big paper bag and Kansai wearing way too much clothing. Uho!
You sure you didn't accidentally hide OP's posts?
Props for doing a smell check!!
They didn't ring the bell?
Maybe they couldn't find the entrance to his apartment......
The first line already cracked me up.
In b4 their visit is part of his fantasy too...
"Good evening."
"Ah, good evening... sorry."
Here I go apologizing even though I didn't do anything wrong. Thankfully, they simply ignored it.
"Damn, it's cold."
"And it was warm just a few hours ago."
My plan was not to let them up to my room at any cost.
The reason was simple. I didn't want them to see my Jump and Champion towers after all.
Then, we had a little small talk. I don't remember much of what we talked about, but apparently, they weren't on their way home from work
but from a shopping trip to somewhere.
That means, the admin must be here right now, huh?
Good job!
I know it's a lot of work to keep the site up-to-date, but don't forget to enjoy the thread!
>the Jump and Champion towers
My sides.
Starting next week, you'll have to read Jump and Champion in the bookstore instead of buying them!
Are you sure you're not retarded?
THIS THREAD IS SO FUNNY!
IT'S SO FUNNY I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING～～～～～
You're the fucking worstw
"Huh?"
She brought up the topic of self-defense products all of a sudden.
"Are we gonna go shopping in Akihabara or not? If we wanna go asap, it'll have to be tomorrow, right?"
"Ahh, that. Can't we go next week?"
"You idiot. Come on, get a clue..."
she said while glancing over to Miss Understanding as if to say "Right?".
"Well, if Mr. Molester is busy, I'm okay with going next week..."
"No, no, I'm not busy at all. I mean, I only have lectures three times a week."
"Plus, you don't have any friends."
"Shut up."
That's when the cold started to get to me.
Dammit, I didn't think I'd have to stay outside this long. So cold!
And my nose was running.
You've already shitted up the thread enough.
One person in this thread is crying right now.
What exactly is funny about it?
>"Plus, you don't have any friends."
Isn't this the part where you bring up your electronic wire friends?
Yeeeeeehaaaaaawwww!
Kansai: "Forget about us! Run for your lifeーーーー!"
Screams can be heard from inside the cage.
Molester: "I won't leave you here to die!"
As if Molester's prayers have been heard,
his recently drained penis begins to glow.
Miss Undie: "This light..."
To be continued...
Okay!
>>553
You need to be a bit more aggressive, OP.
I can't keep standing around with snot dripping from my nose in front of these two ladies, both beautiful in their own right. This is yakui.
"Be right back."
Just when I started climbing the stairs...
"...why are you following me?"
"Why not? I wanna see your room."
"You're all bundled up, you shouldn't be cold. Stay outside."
"I see! You don't want me to see your porn mags, huh?"
"There's that too, but in any case, just stay outside."
We were quarreling on the stairs. This is yakui. She's serious about going inside.
I can't let her see my tower.
My tower of Jump mags with manga like "Black Cat" in them!!
YOU REALLY DON'T GET WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT THIS THREAD?
(^o^)／ GYAーHAHAHAHA
Kansai has the mindset of a dirty old manw
Kansai... (;´Д｀) pant pant
Kansai is so serious about going insidew
Oh boyw
Black Cat? Seriously?w
That's not good. Promise you'll throw it all away tomorrow.
You have to promise me, lil bro.
Ahh, I want to punch Molester.
....................DASH!!
I ran up the stairs three times, no, four times faster than normal and closed the door at the speed of a hurricane.
Then I wanted to check the thread but decided there was no time for that.
I quickly put on a cardigan and a jacket and opened the door.
BONK!
"Oww!!"
I guess the door hit Kansai, who was waiting outside, right on her forehead.
"A-Are you okay!?"
The last time I panicked this hard was when it became clear that my older sister had seen me masturbate.
That is VIP QUALITY.
Please elaborate.
So lame. So very lame.
>when it became clear that my older sister had seen me masturbate.
Tell us more about this part.
Oh shit, Kansai is so moe.
Pfffwwwwwww Your sister caught you with your pants downwwwwwwwwww
Anyways, if Kansai's right in front of your door, you might as well let her in.
Isn't the door your last defense line? (；´Д`) pant
Something is strange about the way it's worded.
Made me crack up so hard.
FTFY
No, it's just as I said.
I never knew that my sister could always see me masturbating in my room from her room through a mirror in the hallway.
Until a friend of mine pointed it out...
That must have been really awkward for Kansai and Miss Undie.
What he probably means is that his parents realized that he made his sister watch him masturbate every single time...
She must have seen it quite a few times thenw
What the hell...... What kind of a weird room layout is that?
Why didn't you call a carpenter and get it fixed?
then that means Molester could see his sister's room from his room too.
And then you'd offer them something warm to drink.
Kansai was crouched down and didn't answer my question.
This is bad. Really bad. When women act like this, it's usually because they don't want you to see their tears.
This is bad. Extremely bad.
I was too shocked to do anything.
When I looked up, Miss Understanding was standing near her too.
I was still too shocked to do anything.
But then...
Kansai suddenly raised her head while still crouching down and made a run for it to my room!!
She passed by me like a tornado!
"I won't let you!"
I shouted and somehow managed to block her way! Just in time!
"What are you getting all worked up for?"
..............she wasn't crying at all......
Holy shit, Kansai.
Why are you so against it...?
I thought you cleaned up your room before they came!
Here's an idea.
You should tell them you're going to show them your room next time.
That way, you have an excuse to see them again.
But damn, Kansai is cute.
Kansai is so great.
Why did you have to go to such extents to keep them outside though?
They'll think your apartment is a garbage dump or something.
You'd be much better off just letting them in for a minute.
I was still trying to grasp what had just happened. Yet I had managed to stop her instinctively, which is pretty amazing if you think about it.
"It didn't really hurt. No need to panic."
"Ah... Okay."
She got me there. She got me there real good.
I was distracted for a moment until she said
"Huh, looks cleaner than I expected."
Kansai was peeking inside over my shoulder. Then I realized Miss Understanding was too. Well, aren't you two a riot today.
I understand how you feel, Molester, I really do, but you did clean up your room in case they come inside...
While you're rather tame compared to them...... But then I guess this is MOLESTER QUALITY, huh?
I closed the door. I don't think they could see my towers from that position though...
"What a nice scent. What could it be?"
"Incense, maybe?"
As expected of girls, they know their scents. But it looks as if their senses of smell weren't good enough to catch the combined smell of air freshener, 8x4, and sperm masked by the incense.
"Ah, yeah. It's incense."
"Do you know a lot about incenses, Mr. Molester?"
"Nope. Not at all."
"Didn't you just burn some 'cause you heard that we're coming?"
Damn, she's sharp.
They found out. lol
Miss Undie is so sharp.
Now that they've figured it all out, you might as well let them inw
Oh God, they know.
You'll have to give your room a complete makeover when you do invite them in one day.
Why does Kansai not speak in Kansai dialect?
The sharp one is Kansai. I think.
Because she's not actually from Kansai.
Miss Undie = polite speech
Yeah, alright. I'm not jelly... つД｀)･ﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ
So she meant to say
"Didn't you just fap 'cause you heard that we're coming?"
I can't tell them I did it to hide a horrible stench.
"I hit the mark, didn't I?"
"No, really. I'd already lighted it before you called."
By the way, the incense hadn't even burned half way down.
All the more reason not to let them into my room.
"Is that right..."
They didn't seem convinced.
But it was too late to go "Sorry, I lied.",
so I changed the topic back to going shopping.
They must think you're hiding something really bad in your room now.
but they already know my weekly schedule, so they said
"We'll let you know when we've decided on a day."
and left soon after.
Kansai didn't say anything about my snakes.
And that was a short summary because I really have to head to work now.
You wouldn't be Molester if you'd said "Sorry, I lied." there.
You're funny because you try so hard to put up a front even when they've seen through it all.
That was way too short. Why can't you go shopping with them tomorrow?
I know it's tough after a late-night shift, but come on.
Crabs.
Just grit your teeth and power through it. Go with them tomorrow.
I guess even an eroge master can't just wing a real-life event.
How about you give your room a real makeover tomorrow?
Molester: "Sorry... I've kept it a secret until now... I'm actually... a Onaninja."
Stalker: "I can't believe it............ sniff"
More and more Onaninja show up.
One of them is Glasses.
Molester: "Alright, looks like everyone is here!"
Onaninja: "Prepare to fire the Phimosis Cannon!"
Molester: "Kansai! Quick! Give us a sexy pose!!"
Kansai(Fujiko mode): "Come... Lupin. Mmmhh."
The Phimosis Cannon goes off!
SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP
Then he either works at a video rental store, a convenience store, or the Jusco food section...
What does he not like about me? Alright, I'm going to make him like me no matter what!".
It's the famous "Ignore her to make her want you" tactic!!
Don't forget to brag about your luck at your workplace.
Laters.
And try to do a better job next time.
See you～
It might be a good idea to send an e-mail later with an excuse as to why you didn't let them into your room, just to be on the safe side.
ﾉｼ
It's posts like this that spoil and harm Molester more than help him.
He doesn't even listen to what we say anymore.
I just figured OP should explain his behaviour before they misunderstand, but I guess you don't agree?
He should just tell her about the Jump tower.
Kansai getting slightly jealous would be moe.
So much interesting stuff happened while I was on family duty... orz
Good times...
Are you the guy who suggested we move the capital of Japan to Tounou?
"Trying so hard to hide his little porn mags even though they wouldn't bother me in the slightest... So cute!
I like Molester because it's so fun to tease him."
At least, that's what I was fantasizing about while eating Kappa Ebisen with my daughter.
Oh, it's been a while.
Looks like we got the same ID again today, huh?
Any recommendations?
watch Final Approach.
Doesn't really seem like entry-level stuff to me.
Kansai goes "What do you think this is!?"
and takes out a porn mag from her backpack.
Molester: "Urk! Why do you have that!?"
Kansai: "I saw it lying around in your room when I peeked inside yesterday! And when I saw it in a bookstore today, I had to buy it!w
So this is the kind of stuff you're into, Molester～ Who would have thought～♪ Hehehe(^w^ )"
Molester just stands there unable to say anything while Kansai thinks it's cute. The Kansai in my imagination, that is.
The Kansai in my imagination is different. Even though she jokingly asked "You don't want me to see your porn mags, huh?",
she'd blush uncontrollably if she actually found one!
Are you talking about us?w
Or so I think...
Seeing how cool Kansai's personality is, I can't help but feel that she must be ugly.
Am I the only one who feels this way～?
Because if she was cool AND cute, she'd be the best character ever～!!
>>565 >in front of these two ladies, both beautiful in their own right
I realized Molester gave every family restaurant girl the same standard score of 60.
It's not very helpfulw
Both beautiful, huh～? Stupid cute girls are hard to come by these days～
Failure won't be tolerated.
Do it for me, OP.
but turn out to be an 80 when you actually meet them though.
But stay away from women who only have selfies taken from slightly above.
http://page12.auctions.yahoo.co.jp/jp/auction/p7983972?
http://openuser10.auctions.yahoo.co.jp/jp/user/milionon?
But he'd probably prefer keeping the girls to himselfw
If OP posted the restaurant name here, every insensitive asshole on 2ch would head straight there,
and he'd soon have more than one stalker to worry about.
It's not even about keeping the girls to himself, it's just common sense. OP isn't that stupid.
The reason I didn't let you into my room today is
because I felt that if you and I were to get intimate all of a sudden,
I'd feel bad for Miss Understanding. Don't get me wrong though,
of course, I wouldn't have minded a threesome. How about we have one next time?
HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE
Someone should win the auction and tell the poor guy.
Molester keeps using the word "yakui". Haven't seen it in ages.
Was it from 3x3 EYES?
Oh, was it standard score!? Now this is embarrassing.
Fuck, I wish I could have been here!
Anyways, I just wanted to post that I'm back.
I know OP has to work late night shift tonight, but shouldn't he have gone shopping with them tomorrow anyway?
And shouldn't he have let them go up to his place?
Yeah, he should go tomorrow.
He'd have to pull an all-nighter, but he had an afternoon nap today, didn't he?
Or does he think it'd make him look too desperate?
I bet he just couldn't be assed to go shopping after a late night shift...
Kansai pulled an all-nighter to keep him company, but he won't because he can't be assed to.
That's our Molester, alright.
Gaoranger -> Kamen Rider -> Pretty Cure
in a row and then go to bed.
Then you guys would be home and can't miss it.
http://ex7.2ch.net/test/read.cgi/news4vip/1100961606/l50
Yeah, I was wondering about that too.
What does "yakui" even mean? Someone please explain in simple terms even a noob like me who hasn't read 3x3 EYES can understand.
All I know is that the main characters are called Yakomo and Pai.
I meant to write Yakumo.
Yakui = like a Yakuza.
It's a slang expression young people use.
Says Google.
Google says it means "so good it's dangerous", an abbreviation of "yabai kurai ni ii".
...neither of them really fits...
All I got was "Yaku = Inorin".
Whatever that means.
Or so I read. Don't know if it's true.
Looks like there aren't any young people here right now.
∩＿∩ +
（0ﾟ・(ｪ)・） ba-dump ba-dump bear bear
（0ﾟつ旦O +
と＿_）__） +
"as bad as someone who does drugs (yaku)".
I'm from Hokkaido and I don't know that word.
I'm from Hokkaido too and there's no word like that in Hokkaido dialect.
I used to live in Hokkaido and heard people use the word.
Oh shit, I know almost all of them.
I gave up after 1/3 of it because I don't know most of them.
Molester posts "We're going to Akiba." in the thread, so all VIPPERs head to Akiba.
Later, it turns out that Molester and co. actually went to Tokyu Hands in Shibuya or Shinjuku.
We won't fall for the same trick twice!
But now that you posted that here, OP will read it and
send us on a wild goose chase again.
>"Are we gonna go shopping in Akihabara or not? If we wanna go asap, it'll have to be tomorrow, right?"
You're right, Molester is stressing Akihabara a lotw
The next one is in Akihabara... A rare encounter might be waiting out there for you guys too.
I almost fell for it...
would want to show her how he knows Akihabara like the back of his hand.
It's not a place you take two beautiful ladies out to.
In order to practice their jumping skills, ninja plant a tree and jump over it everyday.
And by the time the tree's fully grown, they can jump extremely high.
Don't ask me why.
Don't you mean bamboo?
The training would take way too long if it was a tree.
Considering how he lied to us last time, he might actually go to Akihabara tomorrow!
Do you really think a weak-minded guy, who can't even turn down newspaper salesmen,
has the balls to turn down two women, who came all the way to his place to ask him for a favor?
Even if it's not tomorrow, he must be hiding something from us! I'm certain he's hiding something!
Was it bamboo?
...or was it grass...? I can't remember.
Last time, it was 4 women, and OP just tagged along pointlessly,
but this time they might actually pay more attention to him.
In b4 "Dude, you're so smart." in the e-mail field.
So no one here is going to Akihabara tomorrow!?
"You are a coward."
Daily reminder to post in this thread.
П П （｀･ё・）
（＇х＇） С ▼つ （¨_ ）
⊂ つ ＵＵ n（^u^）n U つ
UU ＼ ＼ UU
UU
Good fight, good night, see you tomorrow!
"THAT IS VIP QUALITY."
First of all, Molester needs to make Kansai understand that he's not interested in Miss Undie anymore.
In short, Kansai is still convinced that Molester is after Miss Undie.
Sorry, I'm out of AA.
Isn't it a bit too early to jump to conclusions?
Besides, going shopping is more fun with more people.
Especially if they're women. It's more fun for me too because I can fantasize about them having a threesome.
I can't believe Kansai dropped by while I was afk having seicross for a little while.
If the Miss Understanding route made a comeback and turned this into a love triangle situation.
But then it turns out Kansai has actually the hots for Miss Understanding!
Nah, scratch that last part, even modern daytime soaps wouldn't pull that shit.
He'd be okay with any end as long as it's with a woman, wouldn't he?
This is the best triangle ever.
∩＿∩ +
（0ﾟ・(ｪ)・） ba-dump ba-dump bear bear
（0ﾟつ旦O +
と＿_）__） +
Miss Understanding
↓
Kansai → Me ← Loli Jugs
↑
Yamaoka
would be the best for all parties involved.
↓↓
http://ex7.2ch.net/test/read.cgi/news4vip/1100967780/280
280 Name:VIPPER[] Date:04/11/21(Sun) 03:48:26 ID:sxbdL5dE
http://pukapuka.s1.x-beat.com/img-box/img20041121034746.jpg
Posting a pic because no one else is.
↓ ↑
Kansai Me Loli Jugs
↓ ↑
Snakes → Yamaoka → Crabs
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（0ﾟ・(ｪ)・） Good morning bear.
（0ﾟつ旦O +
と＿_）__） +
Maybe her bathroom is infested with cockroaches?
Took you long enough to noticew
I was watching Kamen Riderwww
You better watch Pretty Cure too while you're at it.
Good morning, guys.
,∠==､ヽ `i'ｰ- .
/ ヽ| ｢｀'ｰ､`ｰ､
l ﾐ| / `ｰ､ヽ
j R|ｲ ｰ-､. ﾉ7┐
`Vﾊﾊﾊ/ヽ.｢~￣ ｀''ｧf‐┘
. `､ }ｰ-`､__..._／::l Good morning.
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∠-､ﾚ'ヽ〃〕
Good morning, guys.
Molester, may I ask if you watch Haromoni?
So, there's nothing on today's schedule, is there?
And here I thought I could take a few minutes off from family duty to post something to help OP.
Other VIPPERs, are you even trying?
Eat it because a Chicken Filet-O is fine too.
Welcome back.
∧＿∧ +
（0゜・∀・） Still no action?
（0゜∪ ∪ +
と＿_）__） +
It's a holiday, dude. I'm sure everyone's busy hanging out with their peers and queers.
∩＿∩ +
（0ﾟ・(ｪ)・） ba-dump ba-dump bear bear
（0ﾟつ旦O +
と＿_）__） +
how are you doing? Are you still a creepy virgin?
I'll be honest with you. You're such a loser.
Instead of reporting back to 2ch, you should be working on yourself more.
P.S.
Quit watching anime already.
Tell the girls you're moving far away and get a commemorative photo taken with them. Then post it here.
A video of you fucking Kansai would be okay too.
Don't you talk shit about my Kansai!
Why aren't you hanging out with your queers then?
She probably would if she had a reason to see me, but I doubt it...
>>811
Even if I made friends and got myself a girlfriend, I wouldn't quit anime. I swear it by the hair on my butt.
>>814
Because I don't have any peers, queers, or dears...
I think I've already had as much interpersonal communication in the last month as I had in the whole last year.
I confessed to a girl in my class I've got a crush on, but she was like
"Eh, seriously!?",
so I just up and went home. AAAAAHHHHHH
This is just my fantasy going wild,
but I'm sure that girl won't be able to get a wink of sleep tonight because she'll be thinking of you.
And you know... she might even... t-touch herself...... I guess not.
Okay, who's next?
That's when her boobs pressed against my arm. They were so soft.
The fee for that service is automatically deducted from your pachinko wins.
Pachinko Parlor Manager
GJ.
I already had my hair cut at a beauty parlor and now I'm gonna go buy some clothes.
It looks like shit on mewwwwwww Whoawwwww
Me included, that is.
All I can do is wait for them to contact me like they said they would.
The admin of the summary site needs a day off too.
So tell me, why did you turn them down when they suggested going shopping today?
"You are a coward."
Daily reminder to post in this thread.
This thread is so shit now it's hard to believe it used to be good in the beginning.
If I'd gone shopping after a night without sleep, I'd have been tired.
I wouldn't mind being tired, but I'd have been sleepy too.
I wouldn't mind being tired and sleepy, but I'd have been really out of it as well.
I wouldn't mind being tired and sleepy and really out of it if I was going alone, but I don't want to cause the girls any trouble.
∩＿∩ +
（0ﾟ・(ｪ)・） ba-dump ba-dump bear bear
（0ﾟつ旦O +
と＿_）__） +
I finally catch up with it, and it's dead... Here's to hoping OP can deliver at the end of this thread.
Kansai... She did the same thing for you, Molester... but you... you ungrateful son of a bitch...
Kansai knew she might cause the others trouble at work the next day,
(she actually broke a plate)
but she still kept you company until the morning.
|⌒彡
|冫、) Looks like DION users are banned from posting again.
|` ／
| /
|/
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He simply ignores most posts, especially when the thread is slow.
Oh well, try a little harder next time, Molester.
Good night.
Seriously?
Will this thread survive it if we bump it right before midnight?
Though I guess it's useless if VIP is closing down for good.
Source on that?
Are you there?
but in order to embrace something new in life, you have to let go of what you've been holding onto first, you know?
That goes double for loser trash like you because you won't get many chances like this in your life.
Honestly though, there are hardly any women out there who would date an anime otaku.
That is VIP QUALI-
ttp://with2ch.net/cgi-bin/pict/image-box/img20041121233126.jpg
That haircut reminds me of Space Battleship Yamato...
I liked Kaela more when she was in SAKUSAKU.
Any other interesting threads to follow?
Regret alone isn't enough though.
You have to learn from your mistakes.
As Molester said, I think he would have just ended up causing them trouble
and we don't want that, do we?
Especially now at this crucial point, he should be rested when he sees them.
(Though I bet Molester just wanted to watch Pretty Cure in the live watch thread instead.)
Molesther Molesther Molest...... Molest her?!
Brb checking it out.
Don't.
Why not?
There's nothing scarier than reality, you know?
I wish it wasn't true.
>>871
Truth is stranger than fiction... Is that what you're saying?
Exactly.
But then again, there's also the saying, pioneers are leaders.
I've changed my mind. Go for it.
Okay.
I'll do it.
>>874
I lie around on my bed → accidentally fall asleep → wake up a few hours later
Usually, this cycle keeps repeating throughout the night.
Also, somehow I always manage to wake up right before the anime I wanted to watch airs. (I'm serious.)
Don't think. Feel.
You make it sound like it's something to be proud about, but it's not.
I know what I'm talking about because I've been there.
It's time to quit, Molester.
Break down your schedule tomorrow into a pie chart and post it here.
If you don't mind an Excel sheet...
I wanna see it so badwwwwwww
I don't know what you're expecting, but there's nothing particularly interesting about my schedule.
Sleeping takes up about 30%,
kneeling in front of my cell phone takes up 30% too,
shadow seicross another 30%, and school etc. take up the remaining 10%.
You're going to go bald if you have too much shadow seicross.
Baldy detected.
Shit, I would post the accompanying AA too if my access wasn't restricted...
I thought I was the only one watching itw
Or do you watch it by yourself?
By myself.
>>898
I can't. I'd risk revealing my identity if I posted that.
For a moment, I thought you were talking about this thread.
I guess it's true that anime otaku don't watch their anime in live watch threads.
I feel like I've caught a glimpse of how passionate you are about anime, Molester.
A PC that could reveal your identity? What kind of PC would that be!? Σ(ﾟДﾟ;)
Whenever Molester talks about something, it's always anime...
Let's go with this.
You need to seem like you know your stuff when you're picking out self-defense products for them.
You need to pretend like you're worried about her from the bottom of your heart.
Pretend? Dude... Give me a bit more credit.
Finally done with assignments. I'm not sleepy at all because I took a nap a few hours ago.
I think I'll make some stew.
You thought I couldn't!?
when you cook something elaborate just for yourself?
Well, you're wrong.
>>913
Yeah, I made a soup with lots of ingredients from a recipe once. But that was the first and last time.
Nowadays, I never make anything that takes longer than 10 minutes to prepare.
More like from the past...
My ID is different too. What is going on with Yahoo BB!? Or is it a problem with VIP?
Stew (ﾟ３ﾟ)
∩＿∩ +
（0ﾟ・(ｪ)・） ba-dump ba-dump bear bear
（0ﾟつ旦O +
と＿_）__） +
Morning, Molester. What are your plans today?
>>882, pretty much.
I see...
That's not good...
W-What's not good about it!?
I've already cleaned up my room (as good as I could). What else am I supposed to do besides waiting for an e-mail from them?
No, the percentages in >>882 don't indicate the amount of time I spend on the activities.
It's the amount of energy I spend on each activity. If 100% is the total amount of energy I have in a day, I spend 30% of it on shadow seicross.
Why don't you go to a men's college?
It feels great.
I get it! You focus all your energy in one point before you shoot your load!
Multilplied by three! Times two!!
There, you've spent more than 200% of your energy on shadow seicross! No wonder so many men go bald.
Uho!
>>935
No way. My apartment is so small I'd definitely break something if I tried to do a headstand.
>>936
School starts at 11 am today, but I won't make it.
Guess I'll just come in late... I need to go buy Love-yan, Genshiken and Jump anyway.
>>937
Yeah, when I took a shower earlier, I checked my hands again and again during shampooing,
and found about 10 to 12 loose hairs after each wash.
So it seems like I lose about 40 hairs in total every time I take a shower.
◆ Hair growth of someone who's already gone bald ≒ 0.15mm/day
◆ Beard growth rate ≒ 0.38mm/day
◆ Armpit hair growth rate ≒ 0.30mm/day
◆ Eyebrow growth rate ≒ 0.18mm/day
◆ Pubic hair growth rate ≒ 0.2mm/day
◆ Nail growth rate ≒ 0.1mm/day
Q: Could it be that you lose more hair in fall...?
A: Most people don't get enough nutrition during the summer and their scalps produce more sweat and grease, providing an ideal environment for bacteria to breed,
which eventually leads to more hair loss in the fall two to three months later.
Q: How much hair loss is normal in a day?
A: The average person loses an average of 50 to 100 hairs from the head every day. But that doesn't mean you have less hair on your head.
The hairs on your head follow a predictable cycle of growing (anagen phase), stopping growth (catagen phase) and resting (telogen phase).
It is when hairs are in a resting phase that they eventually fall out.
It made me hard a little.
Ohh, thanks.
While you're at it, could you look up one more thing for me? Why does pubic hair stop growing at a certain length?
I've asked myself this for 20 years now, and never found out.
Fucking baldies, go back to where you crawled out from.
But why does pubic hair not just keep growing?
321 Name:249 Date:01/12/08 18:28
>>317
That is an interesting question.
322 Name:VIPPER Date:01/12/08 18:28
>>317
Because it has a shorter growth cycle.
I guess we all think the same way.
Good morning, guys.
There.
つhttp://ex7.2ch.net/test/read.cgi/news4vip/1101094072/
Here's the right one.
Sorryw
"I mean, so what if you are an otaku? It's not your hobby that's creepy, nor can it make you a creep. The question is if you were a creep to begin with.
And you're not that creepy, Molester, so I think it's alright."
☆｡:.+: ∧＿∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
.. :. （ ´∀｀） ＜ ... is what she says.
／￣ヽ/,― ､＼ o｡｡｡＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_
.:☆ | ||三∪●）三mΕ∃.
.:* ＼＿.へ--ｲ＼ ﾟ ﾟ ﾟ jug jug strum jug jug strum...
+:..♪.:｡ﾟ*.:.（＿）（＿） ☆｡:.+:
☆｡:.+::.. ☆:.°+ .. :
（｀Д´ ） ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
｡｡｡o ／､ ―,ﾞ／￣＼ ＜ But Molester is actually a lot creepier than she thinks!!
.Ε∃三m三（●∪三|| | ＼ Too bad!!
ﾟ ﾟ ﾟ ／＿＿～～＿／ ＼＿
:+.:｡☆ （＿） （＿） ..:.*ﾟ｡:.♪..:+ jug jug jug
∧||∧
（ ⌒/ Slash!
∪ / / ヽ
/ ﾉ
∪∪
∧ ∧,～ ＜ Anime Otaku! Lolicon! 2channer! Get rekt!!!
( （⌒￣ヽ ＿
＼ ＼ `ー'"´, -'⌒ヽ
/∠＿,ノ _/_
/（ ノ ヽ､＿/´ ＼
､（ 'ﾉ（ く ヽ､
／` ＼＿＿＿_>＼＿＿_ノ
／ /＿_〉 ､＿_>
／
>>952
Thanks.
Thanks.
By the way, I got an e-mail from Miss Understanding in class that said
"About going shopping, would you be free tomorrow?",
so I replied with
"Can't it be the day after tomorrow?",
and it's been an hour or so since then, but she still hasn't replied yet.
What do you guys make of this?
But the day after tomorrow isn't, so...
Why the day after tomorrow?
Go tomorrow! Tomorrow!
Miss Undie probably prefers tomorrow.
That's why she doesn't know what to reply now.
It's not too late.
"Sorry, sorry. I confused the dates.
Tomorrow would be great."
Send this.
That's hilarious.
The day after tomorrow would be perfect for me.
And I know from last time that the girls' shifts end in the morning on Wednesday...
You have plans? Can't be anything important, can it?
Tell us what you have planned.
I'll take back what I said if it's something more important than a threesome date.
"Miss Kansai says she can't go the day after tomorrow...
Would you mind if it's just you and me?"
What would you do if she replied this?
The Miss Undie route makes a comeback!
It'd give OP a heart attackw
I promised my parents I'd visit them tomorrow.
A one-day trip to my parents' place is a real pain in the ass and all,
but in the last few weeks, I was not only mistaken for a molester, but even made my dad drive all the way here to get me my spare keys.
I really can't back out now...
Wow, that's actually a perfectly good reason.
Now go start the new thread.
I wanted to troll OP into starting a duplicate thread, but now I just look like a dumbass!
Hmm. I take back what I said. Visiting your parents is important...
But instead of not going at all, can't you just go visit them a day later?
They shouldn't mind since you're only postponing your visit...
Dumbass!
｡･ﾟ･（ノД`）･ﾟ･｡ Bawww, you're a dumbass for calling me a dumbass!
Who are you to turn her away twice when she wanted to go up to your room?
My dad has an actual job in Kita-Senju. He's not unemployed.
There's no way he'd have time on a normal weekday.
You should have mentioned that first.
Visiting your parents takes precedence.
She might think "Hey, Molester's a nice guy, he cares for his parents. <3".
So that's why you want to visit them tomorrow since tomorrow is a holiday. I see.
Well, I guess you don't have a choice then.
But if you put it like "I have plans tomorrow.",
Miss Undie and Kansai will think "Gee! And here we thought he actually cares. He's just all talk and no action!",
so maybe you should have explained yourself more.
But if you say it now, it'll sound like an excuse you just made up.
It was Miss Understanding who sent me the e-mail, but you're right...
I kept my reply to Miss Understanding short on purpose
because it was during a lecture and she has an allergy to long e-mails.
"Sorry, I couldn't explain myself because I was in a lecture,
but tomorrow I'm planning on yadda yadda"
Send this as a follow-up e-mail.
Please do enlighten me if you understand even though you're just a bystander.
Then, Miss Undie might actually reply this time.
As long as the content is okay, the length shouldn't matter.
- I took ages to reply
- my e-mails were long-winded and meaningless
- she simply doesn't like e-mails
It's a combination of these imo.
>>990
Like I'd let you!!
You're after Kansai now!? Miss Understanding must be crying about now!!
For the day after tomorrow.
Sorry, Molesterw
1000