Kouhai ~Confession~



28 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/15 22:23:34
I just called her and she actually remembered me.
It's probably because I'm 185cm tall though.
I tried to keep my cool and thought I had everything under control,
but I ended up getting stomach ache anyway because I was so nervous.
Pretty early into the conversation, I realized she's already seeing someone.
I was just relieved that I don't have to confess to her...
The phone call didn't even last 3 minutes, but it was still quite awkward imo.
It made me realize that confessing to someone you haven't met in a long time is a very strange thing to do.
Which is why I'm going to stop calling my contacts in order of their names, and instead call the ones I know best first.
All my hope rests on the two boyfriendless kouhai in my university club.
By the way, I've never confessed to a girl before in my life.



35 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/15 22:41:47
The liberal arts girl I called first isn't calling back...

I can't decide if I should call my kouhai A-ko or B-ko.
A-ko and I have been pretty close for a long time now, but she's ugly, and wears tons of make-up.
Nevertheless, she's a good girl, and smart too. Chances are pretty good that she accepts my confession.
B-ko isn't exactly the cutest girl either, but she's one of those slightly-ugly-but-full-of-pheromones girls I like, i.e. she's my type.
I doubt she'd go out with me though. She's going to be surprised, that's for sure.
Now, the problem is that I can only confess to one of them.

I was in utter despair an hour ago, but I feel a lot more optimistic now.



37 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/15 22:46:53
>>36
Realistically speaking, if I were to get turned down by B-ko, I can't just confess to A-ko directly after that.
Unless I'm ready to quit my club or something.
Someone's calling.



63 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/15 23:12:55
She turned me down. The reason was: "I can't go out with someone who suddenly asked me out, out of the blue...".

I thought my heart was going to burst. It was going ba-dump ba-dump the whole time.
I feel like crying now. I bet I look like Ken'ichi Mikawa when he's trying to smile.
And I keep thinking "I knew it. I knew it wasn't going to work out for me.".
I really hung in there though. I even asked her if we could start out of as friends first.
She considered it for a moment, but said no. Shit's depressing.
Fuck this, I'm going to call my two kouhai now. I won't have any time for club activities when I start studying for the exam anyway.
Yeah, let's call them both, shall we? Yeah, let's just do it. Shut up.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


74 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/15 23:26:35
I've given it some thought and decided to call A-ko.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Alright!



110 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/15 23:59:35
I called A-ko. Confessed to her too.

"I really look up to you, Senpai, but could you give me some time to think about it? It's a bit too sudden.
I always thought you liked ○○, Senpai.
What exactly do you like about me?"

"I've always liked you, but just didn't let it show.
It would be great if you could give me an answer tonight."

"Okay, I'll think about it. Please give me an hour or so."



I can't believe it... Am I that unattractive?
If she turns me down too, I swear I'm going to call EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.



112 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 00:03:34
>>111
I'm a junior student in university. Number of years I've been single = My age.



126 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 00:13:16
I've never managed to get myself a girlfriend, so I got scared I'll never manage to get one.
Like I was deficient in some way. I seriously started panicking.
I bet you guys all have a girlfriend though.



134 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 00:18:35
It's like this thread is full of people talking down to me.
Well, I am the bottom of the barrel, so I can't complain.



136 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 00:22:11
I have a missed call from A-ko.
I'm going to call her now. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm so excited right now.



177 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 13:25:52
I just got back home and I'm so tired. I'm exhausted. Sorry for not reporting back earlier.
A-ko and I agreed to meet up and talk during our second phone call yesterday.
So I just barely got on the last train and headed to the nearest station to her place.
We met up and entered a family restaurant where I tried to persuade her for 10 hours or longer.



178 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 13:28:57
She said that she doesn't have anything against me, and that, on the contrary, she respects me,
but it was too sudden for her, and she was too worried to make such a bold decision.
I asked her what exactly was worrying her, and tried to argue her fears away, one by one.



179 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 13:33:32
She listed about 10 of them, to which I responded with arguments as to why she needn't worry, but she still wouldn't give in.
With every passing minute, the silent pauses grew wider until it turned into a contest of who can last longer without saying anything.



180 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 13:36:30
Slowly, it dawned on me how futile the whole thing was.
It might sound weird coming from a guy who's never had a girlfriend,
but A-ko isn't the kind of girl I would want to introduce to my friends as my girlfriend, looks-wise.
I only picked her because I felt like she was most likely to say yes. She's never had a boyfriend either.
When I realized I was desperately fighting against getting turned down by a girl like her,
I was overwhelmed with embarrassment and humiliation.



182 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 13:40:11
Even so, I was convinced that if I were to get turned down by A-ko,
I would have to give up on getting a girlfriend forever.
That's why I didn't want to say "Alright, I give up." at any cost.
At around 9 o'clock in the morning, A-ko suddenly asked the crucial question:
"Do you really like me, Senpai?"



183 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 13:46:52
I answered "I think I could even die for you if I had to. I love you.".
A-ko got silent. A minute passed. No, maybe it was 3 minutes or longer.
Until she finally said:
"Alright. I'm happy that you like me so much.
Please let me be your girlfriend if I'm good enough for you. But will you promise me one thing?"



189 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 13:56:04
"Please wait with physical intimacy until I've sorted out my feelings."
"Why?"
"...you have to promise me. Please wait until I truly fall in love with you.
I'm confident that I will fall in love with you if you just give me some time. I already like you, but... please.
By the way, I'm still a virgin. (← She actually said this.) Are you experienced, Senpai?"
"Nope. (→ A-ko seemed happy about it.) I've kissed though. (→ I lied. A-ko didn't seem so happy anymore.)


191 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 14:01:40
Eventually, I caved and agreed with her condition.
And that was it. I'd gotten a girlfriend for the first time in my life.

"I was so anxious I didn't notice I was starvingw Let's order something to eat, Senpai."
A-ko had cheered up in an instant and the gloomy mood that had been hanging over us for hours finally lifted.
When we left the family restaurant, A-ko suddenly uttered something unexpected.



194 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 14:07:53
"Is it okay if I tell ○-ko and □-mi about us going out, Senpai?"

The question took me totally by surprise. A-ko seemed so happy that she'd gotten a boyfriend.
But what were those hours of reluctance and resistance yesterday about then?

"Sure, if you want, A-ko.
Who are you going to tell? Don't tell Mr. △-kawa because he's a real tattle-tale."

A-ko, who I'd always imagined to be an intellectual person, suddenly seemed like a young girl to me.



196 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 14:13:24
"We can hold hands if you want."
I said "Yeah." and took her hand.
The first time I held hands with a girl was during a game of dare when I went to summer camp together with my university club.
I still remember how my heart was beating like crazy that time.
But I didn't feel any of that when I held hands with A-ko.

After leaving the family restaurant, just as we'd reached the main street, the bright sun illuminated A-ko's face.
Albeit not a surprise, with her make-up smeared around her eyes, I couldn't help but think that she's ugly.



200 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/16 14:18:43
I decided not to pursue the thought, and continued talking to her with a smile on my face until we parted ways at the station.
When I said goodbye, I told her, "I'm sorry for everything today. Also, thanks.
I'll do all I can to make you truly fall in love with me, A-ko.".
Then I whispered into her ear, "I love you so much, A-ko.".
A-ko seemed really happy to hear that and said "I love you too, Senpai.".



To be continued.