551 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 00:22:44
I'm sorry for the late report. ...I don't even know where to begin.
First of all, I feel a lot guiltier than I thought I would.
Well, it really is all my fault though.
orz
I'm also sleepy. I haven't slept in like 40 hours...
552 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 00:23:54
First, let me read the posts I've missed. Also, let me go get some coke.
563 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 00:31:00
Coke wakes me up. I don't drink coffee.
I don't know how long I can stay awake, but here goes my report.
The last two days were the most eventful days of my 22-year-long life.
568 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 00:33:46
At around 5pm yesterday, I called A-ko, prepared and full of confidence.
She was awake. I said "Thanks for yesterday, or should I say today?".
She replied "Don't mention it. It was a surprise, but I enjoyed it.".
I don't remember what we talked about the next five minutes, but she must have noticed that I was feeling down
because she asked "Senpai, aren't you exhausted? You said you haven't slept at all.".
I prepared myself for the worst and said: "There's something I want to tell you.".
580 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 00:40:46
"To cut to the chase, I want us to stay normal senpai/kouhai after all.".
"...eh? I don't understand. ...you mean, you want to start out as friends?"
"No, I mean, not going out at all..."
"You want to break up with me after a day? (she laughed)"
"No, I wouldn't call it breaking up. I want to undo what happened yesterday.
It's for your sake too, A-ko. I'm really sorry though."
"...are you serious?"
"...yeah."
"...why?"
601 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 00:47:26
"I realized that a relationship is a very serious matter for you, A-ko, while I just wanted a girlfriend.
It became clear to me when I thought about it calmly after getting home.
I feel like someone like me isn't the right person for such a serious and pure girl like you.
Sorry."
"But you've been in love with me for a long time, haven't you?"
"I have, but I feel like I was taking the matter too lightly.
Sorry I can't explain it better."
"...is it because I asked you to wait with physical intimacy?"
617 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 00:51:56
"No, that's nothing to do with it. I thought it made sense..."
"...well, I don't really mind. ...I just feel a bit ridiculed? (she laughed)"
"Sorry..."
"I'm hanging up then."
"Hold on. ...did you tell □□ about what happened yesterday?"
639 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 00:57:32
"I haven't told anyone yet. ...ahh, don't worry, I won't tell anyone."
"I won't either. I think it's the best for us both if we don't."
"Bye then."
Even though it was a short phone call, I was totally exhausted,
feeling relieved and guilty for hurting her at the same time.
I didn't even feel like checking out 2ch. Instead, I turned on the TV,
saw Asashoryu lose, and fell asleep on the bed, just like that.
Less than an hour later, my cell phone started ringing. It was a call from A-ko.
832 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 14:48:03
Less than an hour later, my cell phone started ringing. It was a call from A-ko.
I expected an angry crying A-ko when I nervously answered the call,
but she seemed to be cheerful like always.
"Were you sleeping? Sorry for calling you when we already talked a short while ago."
"I was sleeping, but not anymore. Good morning."
"Ahaha. About what you said earlier... I don't mind going out with you just because you want a girlfriend.
To be honest, I want a boyfriend too. Ahaha."
846 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 14:55:20
Thinking to myself that it could turn into quite a hassle, I said:
"But I'd feel bad, A-ko. You want more from a relationship than I do..."
"To tell you the truth, you made me really happy yesterday.
I was convinced that no man would ever fall in love with me.
I had already given up on it, but I was moved when you listened to me seriously and eased my worries.
The reason why I didn't say YES right away was because I couldn't really believe it.
But now I can say with confidence that I probably like you, Senpai.
That's why it'd be enough if even only 1% of your love you felt for me is still left.
...now it's like I'm confessing to you. (lol)"
876 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 15:00:33
"......"
"Hey, don't get all silent. (lol)"
"......" ← I didn't know what to say.
"Hellooo..."
I immediately remembered the advice I'd gotten in this thread.
"You know, when I imagined actually going out with you (e.g. doing lewd things to you),
I realized that you're like a little sister to me..."
"...that's okay too, big brother. (lol)"
"...will you give up if I tell you that I wasn't really in love with you in the first place?"
908 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 15:07:15
"Give up? ...were you lying when you said in Denny's that you didn't get much sleep last month
because you couldn't stop thinking about me?"
"No, it was the truth..." ← I lied.
"And what about your promise to do everything you can to make me happy, even in 5 or 10 years,
to convince me that I made the right decision to go out with you?
Were you lying when you said you wanted us to be a couple that supports each other even on days when we can't meet?
I can't believe it."
Then A-ko broke out in tears. orz
954 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo [] Date:04/09/17 15:14:01
I figured that if it's for A-ko's sake too,
I won't mind being the biggest asshole on this planet, and said:
"That was a lie. Sorry, I do love you.
It's just that... maybe all I wanted was to do it with you. Sorry...
And when you said we couldn't do it, I got disappointed...
That's why I said I wasn't really in love with you in the first place."
This is another lie. I wasn't after sex, I just wanted to have a happy relationship.
I wanted to say goodbye to loneliness, take walks with someone holding hands,
watch DVDs together etc... sex was supposed to be nothing more than a bonus,
but I lied on purpose to make A-ko hate me.
51 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo ：04/09/17 15:28:17
I'm going to continue my report in this thread. But please no comments on how slow I type.
"So you didn't care who as long as you got to have sex?"
"That's not it... No, maybe you're right."
"...you're the worst. ...sorry."
"No, I think I'm the worst too. I'm sorry..."
"...I asked you to wait with physical intimacy because I was afraid it's all you're after
and you might toss me aside as soon as you got what you wanted.
That's why I wanted us to get to know each other better first.
That and... Ah, never mind."
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry..."
"...We talked for so many hours... and now you're saying it was all lies?
...I still like you though, Senpai. Are you absolutely sure you don't want to go out with me?"
88 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo ：04/09/17 15:35:10
"Senpai, can we meet up and talk in person?"
My head went blank for a moment.
"But I told you everything... I'm an asshole who's just after sex."
"...I don't think it'd be weird if we were an actual couple. ...not that it's going to happen now.
But let me at least see you and talk to you in person. Please."
"But I'm tired and my head hurts..."
"I'll head to △△ now. Please."
"There aren't any family restaurants here in △△ though. And my room is a mess."
"I'm sure it's annoying for you, Senpai, but I just can't give up on the phone..."
111 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo Date:04/09/17 15:40:01
Sorry if I'm posting too slow.
I'm writing as I try to recall what happened, so if it's taking too long for you, please read it in one go later.
I'm not making this up. I just want to share it with you guys because I can't really believe it happened myself.
In the end, I agreed to meet up with her in Shibuya since we weren't getting anywhere on the phone
and I didn't want to let her into my room.
143 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo Date:04/09/17 15:45:26
A-ko was already waiting for me when I entered the coffee shop we had decided to meet at some time past 8 pm.
She was waving at me with a bright smile and shockingly big dark circles under her eyes.
That's when she told me about how she's got mid-year exams coming up this month.
Since the exams are going to start next Tuesday, she had to study for them all night yesterday too.
Even after getting home yesterday, she pulled an all-nighter to study for them. I felt really bad for taking up her precious time.
"Shouldn't you go get some sleep?"
"I wanted to see you, Senpai. This is more important than exams."
183 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo Date:04/09/17 15:52:08
"Sorry for making you come out here even though you were tired, I just didn't want to talk about something like this on the phone."
I kept thinking about what you said on my way here. Thinking that even if you say you're only after my body,
you seemed so serious when you told me about your feelings that I just can't believe it was all lies...
We can start out as friends and take it really slow.
Will you go out with me? Please. By the time you start studying for your exams,
I'll be studying for mine too, so why don't we study together at the central library?"
213 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo Date:04/09/17 15:57:27
"I believe sex to be an essential part of a relationship though..."
From the beginning, it wasn't sex I was after, but I had to lie to make A-ko hate me,
to make her give up on me.
"...I think it's only natural for a man to want to have sex.
There's actually another reason for why I asked you to wait with physical intimacy.
...do you want to know?"
254 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo Date:04/09/17 16:03:52
I'd never noticed it before, but apparently A-ko has atopic skin.
While it's barely noticeable when it's not acting up, but when it gets bad,
her skin is red, swollen and cracked all over, which is why she didn't want me to see her like that.
She was actually told not to use any make-up, but she uses a lot of foundation anyway to hide the symptoms from others.
That's why she was always wearing too much make-up and smelled weird.
I figured that's also why she doesn't trim her eyebrows, since her skin doesn't allow her to use razors or tweezers.
"It's especially bad around my arms and my back right now. I'm sure you'd be disgusted if you saw me like that..."
298 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo Date:04/09/17 16:11:53
I was overcome with a strange sensation.
(Huh, I might be able to get laid tonight...)
I inadvertently said:
"If two people really trust each other, I doubt something like that would matter..."
"...Please promise that you'll still like me even if my skin is really bad?"
Her reaction was so unexpected that I seriously panicked for a moment.
I frantically thought about what to answer.
- Depending on what I say, I might be actually able to lose my virginity.
- But if I do, I can pretty much forget about confessing to B-ko and going out with her.
- I'm not in love with A-ko. But I honestly can't deny that I was happy about her falling in love with me...
However...
351 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo Date:04/09/17 16:21:09
A woman I've known for almost one and a half years and only seen clothed so far
might actually strip naked in front of my eyes...
I got suddenly very excited.
To be frank, even if I went out with A-ko, I'm certain I would have to wait for sex for months.
Even a kiss would have taken weeks.
Scared to piss her off, I wouldn't have dared to initiate it.
And even if I were to go out with B-ko, there's no guarantee that I'll get to have sex with her...
Will I be able to convince B-ko to go out with me in the first place? What if I'm about to make a big mistake?
A-ko is a good girl. Will I ever get to know such a good girl again?
"...Please promise that you'll still like me even if my skin is really bad?"
".........I'd be the biggest asshole in the world if I stopped liking you because of something like that."
424 Name:Live ◆1nK0g9zDgo Date:04/09/17 16:33:00
If I let this opportunity slip by tonight, when will I get the next one...? My mind was made up.
"That's what you were worried about? I think you're really cute, A-ko,
and no matter how bad your skin is, I'll still think you're cute. Thank you for being honest with me.
......but I won't blame you if you can't trust me anymore."
"I trust you."
"I-It's not like all I wanted was have sex. (← starting to contradict myself here)
I just figured it'd be great if we could come to a mutual understanding and if you could give me another chance.
......alright, let's continue talking at a hotelww"
I said jokingly, thinking she'd turn me down anyway.
To be continued in the Hotel arc.